A Hard Time

Hi all, 

I'm finally going to speak about what Andrew and I went through in our realtionship, as you all probably know by now me and Andrew were on and off for quite a few years.

We found I was pregnant in the 3rd month of our realtionship, we were so happy! We were trying for a baby quite soon as that's what we both wanted. A family! 

We kept it to ourselves as soon as we found out, but I told my closest friend at the time, she was happy for us too. I didn't want to tell our family's yet as my family would hit the roof and I didn't really know Andrews family at that time. 

I went to work, I was so so worried being pregnant I actually took another pregnancy test in front of my boss. It came up with pregnant 1-2 weeks... I thought that's strange I've been pregnant for about 4ish weeks now. 

Anyway I started working, all was going okay until I needed to go the toilet, I went to the loo and wipes and there was brownish blood. I wasn't too sure what to do as i didn't know if this was normal or not, I asked my boss, she said to see how things go, it could be implantation bleeding, so I did and eventually it kept coming but this time it was bright red. 

I started crying because deep in my heart I really knew I had lost our baby. I told my boss again and she said go straight to the doctors, so I did. 

The bus ride to my village seemed to have lasted forever, I called Andrew, he was at work, but he didn't answer. By the time I did get hold of Andrew I was at the doctors he told me not too worry, loads of girls bleed during pregnancy. I tried not too, but then the doctor asked me to do a pregnancy test, if you've had a miscarriage she said it will come up negative pretty quickly. 

I did it- by this time I was pretty heavily bleeding- I went back in the doctors room and she confirmed it then and there- I've had a miscarriage, I broke down in tears, I couldn't believe it, I was so upset. The doctor told me that I needed to tell my family because I could do with a hug. I didn't tell my family- I couldn't! 

I came out of the surgery and rang Andrew, I was strong- I was trying to be strong. 'I've lost our baby Andrew' he started crying, I told him not too cry and that we could try again when we feel up to it. I said to him I can't stay at home tonight I couldn't face anyone and as I adidn't know his family I really didn't want to stay with them.  So we booked a hotel. Andrew still had to go home and get his things, so he went home and his mum said you look upset Andrew what's wrong, he fell into her arms and started crying, he also went to his bag and threw my pregnancy test at her, she asked what's this, isn't it a good thing? Andrew told her what had happened. She was upset.

When Andrew finally come to get me, I broke down, I couldn't breathe, it was the hardest time of our lives, Andrew broke down too.

But now I think maybe it was for the best? It tested our realtionship, it showed how strong we could be! 

And now we have a Rosie, in which is the best thing that could of happened to us.

Much love

Lauren xxx

How I Told My Family

Hello Everyone, 


When I first found out I was pregnant, I was scared. Not only because I had a baby on the way, but because of my family. I'm 20 years old and my family, my dad and aunt especially; told me not to get pregnant. I was "too young" and wouldn't be able to handle it according to them. 
So when I found out I was pregnant I didn't know how to tell them, I put it off for so long but because I started to have very bad morning sickness I had to stay round my boyfriends (We both live with our families, but that's a different story) because it was getting very very hard to hide however my dad wanted me home, so in the end I had to face going home, I was scared not only because of my morning sickness had gotten worse but because they were bound to find out that night. When I got home all I did was go straight to my room, I felt so rough, my morning sickness had gotten to the point where I couldn't keep ANYTHING down, I thought to myself I just can't do this anymore, I needed something to help me keep things down, for my baby's sake. 
So I went to see my aunt and had a private chat with her, she said she guessed I was pregnant due to not going home. She was angry, disappointed in me but no matter what ANYONE said I was going to keep my baby. 
We went to the doctors that night and got some anti-sickness tablets,  I found out I was severly dehydrated so had to keep testing my urine to see if it had gotten worse, if it had I had to be admitted to hospital. Luckily it got better. 
Now was the time to face the rest of my family. I was so scared, mainly of my dad. So we went home and asked my aunt to tell my family while I stayed sat in my bedroom, scared.  About 10 minutes later my aunt came in, she told my dad, she said to me he doesn't want anything to do with you. I was heartbroken, I wanted my dad's support. He was my main man... I really couldn't imagine my life without my dad.. but had to face the facts, I knew he needed time to get his head around his little girl having a baby.  
My mum was OK with it, she supported me, she knew that I wanted to have a baby, she did everything to make me feel better, telling me my dad would come round... I hope he did.

A few minutes later I decided it was best for me to go to back to my boyfriends, I couldn't stand the fact that my dad didn't want anything to do with me, it was just awkward being around that atmosphere. So I went back to my boyfriends, he supported me along with his family supported me, which I'm so grateful for. :) 

So a couple of  months later, my dad eventually started coming round, he never ever mentioned my pregnancy or the baby but I didn't expect him too... It was hard for him.  When I had my first scan he just glanced at the scan and that was it. Not even a word. I was saddened by this but I didn't want to mention anything because he only just started coming round and I was happy about that!  My mum, aunts and grandparents are supporting me, there all very happy and excited for me now. I know my dad will come round when the baby is born... until then though! 

  So that's the story of how I told my parents... It was tough, but it needed to be done.

Love Little Lauren xx