Thursday, 11 August 2016

A Hard Time

Hi all, 

I'm finally going to speak about what Andrew and I went through in our realtionship, as you all probably know by now me and Andrew were on and off for quite a few years.
We found I was pregnant in the 3rd month of our realtionship, we were so happy! We were trying for a baby quite soon as that's what we both wanted. A family! 
We kept it to ourselves as soon as we found out, but I told my closest friend at the time, she was happy for us too. I didn't want to tell our family's yet as my family would hit the roof and I didn't really know Andrews family at that time. 
I went to work, I was so so worried being pregnant I actually took another pregnancy test in front of my boss. It came up with pregnant 1-2 weeks... I thought that's strange I've been pregnant for about 4ish weeks now. 
Anyway I started working, all was going okay until I needed to go the toilet, I went to the loo and wipes and there was brownish blood. I wasn't too sure what to do as i didn't know if this was normal or not, I asked my boss, she said to see how things go, it could be implantation bleeding, so I did and eventually it kept coming but this time it was bright red. 
I started crying because deep in my heart I really knew I had lost our baby. I told my boss again and she said go straight to the doctors, so I did. 
The bus ride to my village seemed to have lasted forever, I called Andrew, he was at work, but he didn't answer. By the time I did get hold of Andrew I was at the doctors he told me not too worry, loads of girls bleed during pregnancy. I tried not too, but then the doctor asked me to do a pregnancy test, if you've had a miscarriage she said it will come up negative pretty quickly. 
I did it- by this time I was pretty heavily bleeding- I went back in the doctors room and she confirmed it then and there- I've had a miscarriage, I broke down in tears, I couldn't believe it, I was so upset. The doctor told me that I needed to tell my family because I could do with a hug. I didn't tell my family- I couldn't! 
I came out of the surgery and rang Andrew, I was strong- I was trying to be strong. 'I've lost our baby Andrew' he started crying, I told him not too cry and that we could try again when we feel up to it. I said to him I can't stay at home tonight I couldn't face anyone and as I adidn't know his family I really didn't want to stay with them.  So we booked a hotel. Andrew still had to go home and get his things, so he went home and his mum said you look upset Andrew what's wrong, he fell into her arms and started crying, he also went to his bag and threw my pregnancy test at her, she asked what's this, isn't it a good thing? Andrew told her what had happened. She was upset.
When Andrew finally come to get me, I broke down, I couldn't breathe, it was the hardest time of our lives, Andrew broke down too.
But now I think maybe it was for the best? It tested our realtionship, it showed how strong we could be! 
And now we have a Rosie, in which is the best thing that could of happened to us.

Much love
Lauren xxx

How I Met My Partner

Hi all,

I first met Andrew when I was going to college we were both doing hairdressing,
I really liked him, I kept asking my friend if she thought he was gay, I thought it was strange, Andrew was so nice to me.. But he was doing hairdressing.  I thought he's got to be too good to be true?

One night I thought why don't I just add him as friend on Facebook, see how things go. So I did, we got chatting, the normal conversations you do when you just get talking to someone 'How are you?' 'What made you pick hairdressing and so on' I asked him if he had a girlfriend/ boyfriend, he said he's not gay but no girlfriend. Bingo! 
I chatted to him even more, we chatted every night, every day, I was scared to meet up with him, I have bad anxiety, I was so scared to meet up because he thought of thought I was weird in person. 
He got fed up of me not wanting to meet up- he was getting angry, which was understandable- it was 6 months before I decided that yes I should meet up- but I wasn't going to meet with him alone. I got my best friend to come over, we decided to meet at a public place in a pub. I've never been to a pub before so had no idea how to dress, so me and my friend was short dresses, high heels, big hair and fake tan. The pub was my village pub so when we arrived we looked like twats! Everyone was staring at us, it was awful! Andrew arrived on his ped. I was a nervous wreck. My best friend got some drinks for us, we all had a baileys for drink. Things we're going well!  
I needed the toilet so I asked Steph if she could come with, I went down the step to get into the toilets however Steph didn't go down the step, she tripped over!!  She went flying! I found it hilarious but she of course, didn't! She had dogs sniffing up her dress, everyone was laughing at her. After that, we all decided it was best we went back to mine.

Back at mine, it was quite fun for me and Andrew, we we're all in my bedroom, I was on top of Andrew flirting- drawing on each ther (don't ask) and Steph was sitting on my chair looking at her phone. Andrew lives about half an hour away, but he got lost coming to mine, so my aunt was worried about him going home, she asked if he wanted to stay the night,  I refused before he even answered, thoughts were going through my bed 'what if he sees me in daylight and goes off me' I knew he had seen me before in day light at college so I really didn't know why i was refusing.
So he went home, the next day at college was horrible! Andrew had told all the girls in my hairdressing group about him coming to mine, girls being girls made things really bad between us 'oh Andrew told us you had sex'
I had a huge argument with this girl, which made me drop out of college, things got awkward between us and we stopped talking after that.

A year later he made contact with me again, I was working at Boots now and he was doing whatever he was doing..
We started talking again, but I soon lost my interest, I started talking to other boys. I sort of saw Andrew as my gay best friend, I told him about the boys I was seeing, which he didn't like at all, he told me about how he loved me, but I thought hmm, he doesn't really so that's when he had enough this time and we lost contact again.

Now another year on, I was in my room one night, I started thinking about Andrew, I really really missed him. I missed having someone I could talk to about anything and him not judging me, however I was seeing another boy at this time (nothing serious) and I really didn't want to hurt Andrew again, so just left it. 
I was meant to be seeing the lad that night in a hotel, so my friend and I went to B&M to get some drinks, I knew Andrew worked there, but thought he may have left as it was a year later. We went in and there he was.. Looking gorgeous as ever. This is going to be awkward I thought to myself.  We talked, I hugged him. My friend was talking to him about hamsters. Anyway we got the drinks and left. We went to get some lunch, subway, which was right next door, I went to the toilet, told Alana what I wanted so she ordered. I came out of the toilet and there he was aagain. Oh no! He's going to have lunch with us.. What the hell am I going to talk about!! 
But thank god Alana was with us, she did the talking. 
After about half an hour of talking we said our goodbyes, we exchanged numbers, hugged and I thought that was the end of the things... Little did I know, that was the start of things.. 
We now have a daughter together! 

Lauren xxx

Wednesday, 10 August 2016

I'm back!!

Hi all! 

I'm back, sorry it's been a long time! I sort of  gave up because I've been so busy all the time!
I now have a 1 year old daughter, her name is Rosie Mary- named after my grandma and late nanny, she's such a beauty!

I now have a 2 bed roomed house- it's small but it's what we call our home and we love it.
We moved in a year ago now, it's been such a busy year- Moving in- having a baby- decorating! But we're finally settled. 

I'm so happy with my life at the moment, I have everything I've always wanted- a home, a family. 

I'm now 21 and I can't believe how time flies by now- only feels like yesterday when I had my 18th birthday and now we have Rosie time just seems to fly by even more!

Make the most of it...

More to come,
Lauren xxx